Being Present: What It Is, Why It Matters, + How to Make It Easier (Episode 35)

Episode Transcript

Liz Moorehead (00:01.39)
Welcome back to Beyond Your Default. I'm your host, Liz Moorhead, and as always, I'm joined by the one and only George B. Thomas. How are you on this early morning?

George B. Thomas (00:05.972)
I am doing great. It's not Monday, it's Tuesday. So this feels a little weird, but yeah, but I'm down for it. I'm excited for this conversation. I'm not sure what me being a present has to do with anything, but I can talk about wrapping myself under the Christmas tree or giving myself as a birthday present.

Liz Moorehead (00:16.525)
Feels uncomfortable, yeah?

Liz Moorehead (00:28.686)
Ha!

George B. Thomas (00:35.732)
That is what we're talking about today, right?

Liz Moorehead (00:39.119)
Oh my God. You know, we work together. It probably, I probably talk to you more than I talk to anybody else in my life, right? Through work. And I still somehow managed to forget your propensity for absolute garbage dad jokes. That was awful. You should feel awful moving on. No, you're not sorry. You're not sorry. You're not sorry. You're a gift, right? Why would you apologize for being a gift?

George B. Thomas (00:40.116)
Now.

George B. Thomas (00:47.284)
Yeah, yeah.

George B. Thomas (00:58.9)
I'm sorry, listeners, I apologize. I'm really not, I'm not.

Exactly. It's a gift. I'm a gift. Like we're talking about being a present today.

Liz Moorehead (01:11.055)
To be fair, as an only child, if somebody says presents, I'm like, presents? What, what, what'd you get me, right? But no, no, we're talking about being present. What it is, why it matters, and how to make it easier. Because man, has there been a topic on this podcast recently where the idea of being present hasn't come up?

George B. Thomas (01:15.86)
Hmm, yeah.

Liz Moorehead (01:34.126)
Because we talked about it during our episode about the importance of recognizing and embracing the small things in life. We talked about it last week during our episode on happiness. We also talked about it prominently during our conversations about fear, acknowledging the seasons of our life, weathering the storm through stillness, and countless others. There is no doubt that being present matters. Yet so many people struggle with this. And to be honest, that includes me.

So why does being present matter? I want to read a quick excerpt from research I found. Now granted, is this research a little bit older? Yes, it's from 2010. But the principles, I think, probably have only become increasingly true as opposed to less true. A human mind is a wandering mind. And a wandering mind is an unhappy mind. The ability to think about what is not happening is a cognitive achievement that comes at an emotional cost.

George B. Thomas (02:01.748)
Mm.

Liz Moorehead (02:30.094)
Unlike other animals, humans spend a lot of time thinking about what isn't going on around them. I want to take that part again, just Seth cut this. Unlike other animals, humans spend a lot of time thinking about what isn't going on around them, contemplating events that happened in the past, might happen in the future, or may never happen at all. Indeed, mind wandering appears to be the human brain's default mode of operation.

George B. Thomas (02:42.964)
You

Liz Moorehead (02:58.607)
Like just be happy, just be present feels like a deceptively simple concept that many find to be lingering just out of reach. It's kind of like when somebody, you know, you go up to a friend and you're like, I'm feeling depressed. And they turn around, they're like, well, just choose positivity. Thank you, Jennifer. No, that's not how any of this works. So that's what we're tackling today. And to the Jennifers out there.

George B. Thomas (03:13.172)
Yeah.

George B. Thomas (03:24.5)
We apologize.

Liz Moorehead (03:25.487)
We apologize, but you have now joined the Susans and the Gina's names I pick because I have people in my life named you who I love and your name is just fun to say. But this is what we're talking about today. We're talking about being present. I will be honest. George got on this call with a mischievous glint in his eye. He seemed to be excited about the fact that my response to his excitement about this topic made me a little anxious.

George B. Thomas (03:29.652)
Mm.

George B. Thomas (03:34.548)
There you go.

George B. Thomas (03:44.852)
Hehehehe.

George B. Thomas (03:54.644)
Yes.

Liz Moorehead (03:54.959)
He didn't do anything to dissuade that anxiety. So we are going to see where this conversation goes today. I can't vamp anymore. I can't avoid the inevitable. George, let's dig in.

George B. Thomas (03:58.004)
Mm -mm.

George B. Thomas (04:09.268)
Yeah, let's do it.

Liz Moorehead (04:11.055)
When we say being present, what specifically are we talking about here? How are we defining it?

George B. Thomas (04:17.94)
Yeah, I mean, in the simplest terms possible, being present is all about living in the moment, right? It's the act of engaging fully with the now, feeling the wind on your skin, listening intently to a friend, savoring a bite of your meal, but the now.

It's a state of active or open or intentional. By the way, Liz, I think we're going to come back to this word intention and intentional intentionality in life. But it's the state of active, open and intentional attention. The now attention to the current experience or experiences that you're having. You're not just physically there.

you're mentally and emotionally there too. That's the funny thing. The now, physically, you have no choice. You're there, you're in the now, like in the moment. Mentally though, it's a completely, emotionally though, it's a completely, right? So at the end of the day, this sounds simple.

But it's actually really difficult. When we stop and think about this, our body is always in the now. But most of us humans, mentally Liz, and you alluded to this in the intro, we live in the past or in the future far more than we actually live in the right now. Also, most people might think that when we say in the present, we mean being mindful or having mindfulness. Like sometimes,

that gets a little confusing of the difference of being present versus being mindful. The thing is, mindfulness is a bit of a broader subject. Mindfulness is a form of awareness. It's recognized in accepting your thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations and surrounding environment with an open, curious and what I might say, non -judgmental mindset, right? It's a practice often.

George B. Thomas (06:31.38)
cultivated through meditation where you observe your thoughts as they drift through your mind. Hopefully you've at some point used the app Headspace or something like it. So when I say observe your thoughts as they drift through your mind, like you're literally hearing the dude's voice that has probably said that to you, but it's all about those thoughts without getting caught up in the thoughts. So here's kind of how I see it and how I want to break this idea of being present.

intentionality, mindfulness, and then the now attention. This is how I see it. Being present is a component of mindfulness. You can think of being present as the what or the action and mindfulness as the how, the approach to the attitude that you're trying to have. Liz, here's an example. Imagine for a second we're at the park, right? And...

Us being present at that moment means that we're truly there. We're watching the squirrel scurry, feeling the bench beneath us, hearing children's laughter. I wish I had like children's laughter. I could like hit a button and be there. But you're literally absorbing in the now, like the surroundings. Mindfulness enters the scene when an annoying thought pops up like, George sent me a slag or,

Liz sent me a work email or somebody, a client, right? Something comes in. Oh, oh, oh, God, I forgot to send an email that was really important. And all of a sudden the the scrolls are gone, the bench part, you know, that it's gone. The the kids laughter. Here's the thing, instead of spiraling into worry and letting that thought of that email or that slack message or that thing that is not

there, instead of letting it steal your attention, you acknowledge the thought and then gently guide your focus back to the park around you, coming back into the moment. So that's mindfulness in action, observing your thoughts, but choosing to stay anchored in the present, in the, in now, in attention to the thing. While being present is about immersing yourself in what you're actually doing or what we're doing,

George B. Thomas (08:58.772)
Mindfulness, again, is the broader practice that includes being present, but also involves a conscious awareness and acceptance of your inner state and thought process. Think of mindfulness as the training ground for being present. The more you practice mindfulness, the better you get at being present in the everyday moments of your life. And Liz, the beauty of this listeners, the beauty of this is the more you.

The more you, like, oof, I'll use the word savor. Like the more that you can be present, the more that you can savor, very intentional word there, life's joys, navigate its challenges and connect deeply. We're gonna get to this connection part as we kind of move forward here, but connect deeply with others.

It's about turning ordinary experiences into extra extraordinary ones simply by fully being there, being present, being in the now with your attention.

Liz Moorehead (10:14.507)
George, I love that you have a mastery of these concepts. I'll be honest, I learned quite a bit during that, especially the part where you're differentiating between mindfulness and presence, because I think sometimes those two can get artificially conflated. And I'll be honest, I've done that myself. But I would be curious to hear from you. Do you struggle with this? Do you struggle with being present in the moment? And how does it affect you?

George B. Thomas (10:42.26)
I mean, do I breathe? That's my running joke, by the way. When you ask me a question and I'm like, I hate this question. It's like.

Liz Moorehead (10:48.843)
This is, I know, this is always my favorite part of the show, right? And I know it's right at the beginning where it's like, here, let me tell you all of these great things I know about presents. Now, am I good at it? Absolutely not. Like.

George B. Thomas (10:51.444)
What?

George B. Thomas (10:58.388)
Yeah, I mean, that's the thing. Like you literally said before the question, like your mastery of it. I'm like, that's because I've f'd it up so many times. Like, what are you talking about? It's a it's a master of learning through the failures that I've actually gone through. But here's the thing to your question. For me personally and listeners, if you get value out of this, then you might be a normal human being. Maybe I'm a normal human being. I think there's two.

arch enemies for me. I think there's maybe four that I want to actually mention here though. So for me personally, when it comes to being present,

The first is that I live in a culture of busyness. Society and my surroundings often make me feel like I've got to be super busy all the time to be seen as productive and successful. Maybe it's just me. I don't know. Well, that constant hustle can really stop us from enjoying the simple, beautiful moments happening right now. And by the way, if you listen to episode eight,

on redefining hustle, striking a balance between hard work and healthy living, you know that I have historically, and even still, by the way, today have a battle with this busyness disease, if you will. I mean, shoot, we just launched a brand new website and business on top of what we are already doing. Anyway, it's like, oh my God, it's like we as humans are kind of caught up, me especially, up.

Liz Moorehead (12:27.626)
It's fine, we love a challenge. We love a challenge.

George B. Thomas (12:34.836)
improving our worth by doing a million things at once that we miss out on the actual joy of just being in the in the now in the attention of the now we miss that joy. So one thing that I definitely want to try to get better at as I journey myself on this journey beyond my defaults that I still have is one where.

I don't have to be so busy or feel so busy. Not that I don't want to work. Don't get me wrong. But I don't want to feel like I have to prove myself by a million little things being done. The second one for me, probably again, just me, technology distractions, baby. Listen, I'm in front of my computer or my phone way too much in a day. But.

Liz Moorehead (13:30.345)
Oh, that's not me at all. Definitely not. Just you, George.

George B. Thomas (13:32.66)
Hey, but for me, it's necessity. It's necessity. Or is it? Like, hmm. I mean, when I see that red dot with some crazy number in it on my phone, I have to clear it. I see a white dot or dots in Slack, I must clear them right now. It's like frickin' Pavlov's dog, right? Our phones and gadgets keep beeping, buzzing with all sorts of alerts and messages. And before you know it,

They're yanking us away from whatever we're doing or whoever we're with. I mean, maybe it's just me, just me problem. But I feel most of the listeners just might be able to relate with this one. It's like it's like our focus is getting chopped up into tiny little pieces because we're trying to be too many places at once, but not fully present in any of them. Listeners, I have to ask you.

If you sit and you diagnose your life right now, do you feel like mentally, emotionally, you are chopped up into tiny little pieces trying to be everywhere, but you're not fully present in any of them? See, we're trying to be too many places at once, but not fully present in any of them. Just saying that out loud, Liz, by the way, makes me freaking sad. Like,

It breaks my heart to know that I've lived in that space, that some of the listeners are probably living in that space. And I think those for me are the two biggies that people might deal with that are staying in the moment killers, I'll call them. But I also think that two mentionables, one, stress and worry, I think is another one that we could easily talk about that kills like being in the present.

because we're stressed about the future, we're worrying about it, we're stressed because we said something five minutes ago, five days ago, or five months ago, and we don't know if it's gonna come back to bite us in the butt. But also this other one is just a general lack of what we talked about kind of at the beginning of this is a general lack of mindfulness practice in their daily life. So they're not even doing anything to get better at the thing that is like highly important.

George B. Thomas (15:55.668)
being present in the now with your attention for those moments, like we're not even at the gym working it out.

Hey, by the way, Liz, I could have put you on the hot seat. What about you? Yes, yes, yes, yes, I do. What about you?

Liz Moorehead (16:11.305)
Uh oh.

No.

Liz Moorehead (16:18.505)
I don't struggle with any of this. None of what you said, none of what you said, are you freaking kidding me? Oh my God, I was sitting here writing down, taking notes, because I wanted to see, you know, how many of these did I resonate with? Culture of busyness, check. Our industry is, I mean, great, our industry is not unique. He and I both work in the inbound marketing and marketing automation space. It is...

George B. Thomas (16:20.852)
None of it. You've got it. You've got it on lockdown.

Liz Moorehead (16:44.969)
The agency world in particular has a great way of making you feel like if you are not maximizing every single possible second that your eyes are open during the day, are you billable? Are you effective? And that is something where you and I have been both working collectively together. Yeah, you and I have both been working together collectively to deprogram ourselves. And you've been building an agency that creates a culture where that is not.

George B. Thomas (16:58.74)
Hmmmm

George B. Thomas (17:03.22)
Let's start twitching.

Liz Moorehead (17:14.409)
the norm, but it's still hard. It's still that moment of, you know, you and I are coming out of this massive project. You and I have worked now, what, nine, 10 days in a row at least. At some point, that is going to stop here in the very, very, very near future. And I know the first time that I have that space to myself to breathe, I'm going to go, wait, is there something I'm supposed to be doing? What's going on? The stress and the worry thing is the one.

George B. Thomas (17:23.188)
Hmm. Hmm.

George B. Thomas (17:28.82)
Yes.

George B. Thomas (17:36.5)
Yeah.

Liz Moorehead (17:42.121)
that I find to be the most disruptive. Because let's be honest, I have a phone. I have access to TikTok. There is not a capybara or pet too can video. I have not seen. The algorithm knows me very well and it's comfort TikToks and I love it. Also randomly, men who end up getting cats even though they hate cats, but then they end up loving the cat and it's absolutely adorable. Like that's...

George B. Thomas (17:56.34)
God.

George B. Thomas (18:08.852)
There's a TikTok for that? Oh my God.

Liz Moorehead (18:10.633)
Oh, absolutely. It's great. I love it. It's fantastic. But stress and worry is the one that I find to be the most disruptive and derailing because with my phone, for example, I have I have my box. I put my phone in this box and then I put my phone up in my closet. Now, granted, am I like a toddler having to do that? Yes, but I'm a toddler who can reach high shelves. So I put that up there. And when I do not want.

George B. Thomas (18:30.548)
Oh, I like that.

Liz Moorehead (18:39.657)
to give into those little impulses, I have to physically go to the other side of the room, pull this box out of the closet, and then take my phone out. And it helps me manage those little impulses, but I'll admit, I feel like not great that that's something that I have to do, but hey, it works for me.

George B. Thomas (18:57.716)
I wouldn't feel bad at all, by the way, because I used to have a stand that was on this desk right here. And if you're listening to this, I'll try to make this make sense. But where I'm standing to do the episode, I have like a major big screen and two smaller screens and all the gear and stuff. And I had yet a stand that my phone would sit on. And so every time it would ding or beep or bop or boop, I would fricking see it. I became a...

more productive when Liz, you can see it actually just lit up back there because probably somebody somebody tried to text me or something. And I always sit it on that desk. That's I literally move the charger there and I set it over there to charge so that it's at my back. It's muted. I can't hear it. I don't see it. And so when I go to like take a break, grab lunch, go use the bathroom, things like that, I'm not trying to get too personal here, but I'll grab my phone.

Liz Moorehead (19:31.689)
Yeah, I can see it. Oh, no kidding.

George B. Thomas (19:55.636)
And that's when I'll check my phone or look at my phone. I come back in the office. Boom. It goes back over there on a desk away from me. So I don't again. Am I being a toddler out of sight out of mind? I want to swear right now, but I'm not going to. It's not that kind of podcast. Yes. But man, the difference in the way I feel and the way that I relax and can actually focus again, a key topic we'll talk about here in a little bit on like the work that needs to be done.

Magical.

Liz Moorehead (20:26.633)
Well, that was the funny part too, because I realized, you know, there was the Liz sometimes has no self control and she's gonna grab her phone and play on TikTok if you don't make it difficult for her to get to it. But then there was the other piece of it where it's the expectation of always being available, of always being on. You know, I had a moment there while you were describing where your phone was and in my head I was like, oh, that's why sometimes I don't hear from him if I text him. I feel a lot better now. He's not mad at me. But that's that little, right.

George B. Thomas (20:51.54)
Boom. Boom. Hey, try being my wife and having that thought. Do you ever check your... Anyway.

Liz Moorehead (20:57.225)
But like, that's the thing that's funny about this is that it's not only that we struggle to stay present because we live in an attention -based economy where people are gaming the system to keep our eyes on our phones. We also live in a society now where people know we have these little computers in our pockets and get upset or concerned or personalize us not immediately responding. But like I said, the stress and the worry one, that's the one I find to be...

George B. Thomas (21:10.452)
Yes.

Liz Moorehead (21:26.729)
the most disruptive. And I want to talk about this from the perspective of trauma, because I think there is standard garden variety stress and worry, but it was only probably in the last few months that I accepted I had something a little bit more extensive than that. And a lot of it comes down to the fact that like over the past.

George B. Thomas (21:39.38)
Mmm.

Liz Moorehead (21:53.545)
couple of years and we talked about some personal stuff that happened in my life in the last episode about happiness like there's been a lot of upheaval there have been traumatic events and it's made me much more prone to have a fight -or -flight response when something unexpected happens or when things aren't going according to plan because stability is something I'm still reacquainting myself with.

And so what I struggle with sometimes is that if something goes wrong, if something doesn't go according to plan, if something isn't happening in the timeline it's supposed to be happening, if I'm not hearing from, I'll sometimes engage in that catastrophic feeling that has a physical expression. It's not just me sitting there being paranoid, it's my body will physically start responding as if it's going through some sort of thing. And.

That's why that quote from the introduction resonated with me so much, is that I had this moment yesterday where I had something similar happen. A thought popped in my head. A thought popped in my head of, well, what if XYZ doesn't happen? What are you going to do? And I just kind of sat there paralyzed. And I had to remind myself, if it begins with a what if,

you're just fear mongering in your own brain. And then I had to sit there and kind of bring myself back to the moment. But that's where I tend to struggle the most in terms of being present. The other ones, you know, it's...

George B. Thomas (23:35.188)
Yeah.

Liz Moorehead (23:35.429)
I don't know how to explain it. I feel that they are more manageable, even if I'm not good at it. And the stress and worry stuff is the stuff that I feel to be most disruptive. So I'd be curious to hear from you, though. Do you engage in any sort of practices, whether that's mindfulness or present moment grounding? I mean, you and I already talked about our box versus our stand behind us for our phones. What do you do to keep yourself grounded in the present?

George B. Thomas (23:58.388)
Yeah.

George B. Thomas (24:02.996)
Yeah, so before I answer that, though, I want to swing back to something you said, and I just want to I want the listeners to pull out the word you said, stability. And and there is a connective tissue, a let's connect the dots between being present and this idea of stability or feeling stable or more firm or more rooted or grounded in life.

So I just if you're taking notes as you're listening to this, just write down the word stability. And I want you to connect the dots for you. What is you being mindful and getting better at being present in the moment? How does that affect your mental, physical, emotional stability? And try to like build out a framework for yourself around that term to this topic that we're talking about. So.

Liz, to answer your question, it's so freaking funny. This question right here feels harmless. It feels harmless when you ask it, but it kicked my butt mentally. Like it just mentally like right hook, uppercut, TKO, I'm like.

Liz Moorehead (25:08.167)
Oh no. Oh no.

George B. Thomas (25:20.884)
I was like, dang it, Liz, why are you doing this to me? Then I said, dang it, George, why are you doing this to yourself? Like it was your idea to do this damn podcast. Like why do you each week need to like find ways to like punch yourself in the face? Anyway, I'll just get with it. I like to go for walks and this has been a thing that always made me grounded. I think it's the sun, the wind, the nature of it all, right? Just getting outside of the house away from technology, but.

but I have not been taking those walks. And honestly, as I do this podcast and as I was prepping for the show, I'm like, it's time to fricking change that. Like I've been making excuses because of the new website launch. I've been making excuses because of clients. I've been making excuses because of things family -wise that are going on. And you know what, it's just time to take.

Frickin' suck it up buttercup and like change it. Just go out and take the morning walk, take the evening walk, get your walking fricking treadmill plugged the frick back into the wall. Cause it's just sitting there doing nothing on the ground but like keeping the carpet down. That's all it's doing. And that's not what it was designed for.

Liz Moorehead (26:31.878)
Well, you know, carpets notoriously squirrely.

George B. Thomas (26:35.188)
I know, I know, right? So here's the thing. I like doing morning devotions and meditation. But for the past couple weeks, I've been so busy with work stuff and listen, those have gone to the wayside. And so where my brain goes is I need to stop letting what I like and what is important to help me be in the present moment to have this thing that we're talking about. I need to quit letting...

What I think is important, steal what is important and make it slip right past me, like right by me. Now, a couple of things that I do make sure that I do to kind of bring me back to, we'll say air quotes normal. I love going out to my backyard on a nice day and standing in the grass barefoot and just standing there looking up at the sky. I think that my neighbors probably think I'm weird, but I love looking up at the sky. Usually with my eyes closed.

And I literally sit there and I imagine that I'm feeling or I am actually feeling, I don't know, but I absorb the energy from the sun above me and the earth beneath me. And again, barefoot in the grass. Love that feeling. To me, those moments equal peace or this moments of peacefulness that I get because I can hear the birds chirping. I can feel the wind. I can feel the crisp grass. I can feel the heat of the sun. And

It's just a, it is the flip side of standing in my office in front of the technology all day. Another thing that I do is, and it's kind of to go along with why the phone is over there on the desk, but when I'm conversing or having a conversation with other humans, I intentionally make sure to turn my phone over so I can not see the screen and I silence it. And I know when I say this, you're shaking your head listeners, you can't see you're shaking your head, but she knows.

because her mind probably transported back to a conversation we were having in an airport about two and a half years ago and the intentionality of making the other human know that they're important to me in that moment, right? And I think it makes, I think humans feel special. Listen, when you in a nonverbal way show a human,

Liz Moorehead (28:35.462)
Yup.

Liz Moorehead (28:46.918)
It's a great feeling.

George B. Thomas (28:57.364)
that they're more important than anything else that's happening in the world, AKA through your phone in that moment. This tiny, small action for them makes them feel great, by the way. For me, it makes me feel powerful. Because I'm literally like, nope, this is what I have dictated, this is what I will do, and this is what I have done. There's power in that.

But also because I know that I've mentally impacted the other human in a positive way, it makes me happy. Ladies and gentlemen, call me crazy, but when I can feel happy and powerful in the same moment based on a simple action of flipping my phone over, whoop, I'll take it. I'll take it all day, every week, the rest of my life. Like I'll take it. Liz, the other thing that comes to mind though is that I'm always, scratch that.

most times trying to come from a place of positive intent or gratitude. I try to look at what is happening in the moment from this place of positivity and gratitude versus the cesspool of negativity that could be happening in my brain pretty freaking easily by the way, if not intentional on the thought of being positive or positive intent or gratitude is actually put into action. So,

That's something that I listen, I'm I'm I'm good at it sometimes. I really suck at it. Others. But this idea of being positive versus negative, it's a way better state to live in if you're actually trying to be present in that state. I'll take the positive state as my presence versus the negative state. Liz, what about you on this question? What are your thoughts?

Liz Moorehead (30:49.03)
First of all, I'm sorry. I'm even now recalling when I sent over the outline, I said, hey, I don't think there are very many emotional grenades this week, so that's a positive. This was not my intention. But here we are. It was funny, I was going back to that memory of us in the airport, and I just remembered feeling like special, but it was also refreshing. Because I don't think anybody.

George B. Thomas (30:51.252)
Mm.

George B. Thomas (30:57.62)
Hmm.

I accept your apology.

Liz Moorehead (31:19.91)
You know, when we go out of our way to communicate our thoughts, our feelings, our fears, our dreams, or just like what we had for brunch with other people, I think we all feel that pang of when they pick up their phone, check their watch, you know, of, oh, I guess I'm, you know, I'm just not that important. And that's.

George B. Thomas (31:30.388)
Be bright.

George B. Thomas (31:45.588)
You might as well just reach over and smack me in the cheek.

Liz Moorehead (31:48.422)
Yeah, like I have friends who are like, why is your phone always on? Do not disturb during the day. I'm like, well, because I'm busy.

that because I am busy. And also I have made choices strategically during the weekend if this is just a time I'm not accepting calls. Now will I periodically check to make sure something like an emergency hasn't happened or you know you haven't reached out or something? Yes, absolutely. But for the most part, one of the things that I actually did for my sanity in order to maintain a present moment hold in my life is to put myself on Do Not Disturb.

That has been incredibly impactful for me. I'm not always on Do Not Disturb, but 9 to 6 .30. Liz, why aren't you answering? Could it be because I'm self -employed? Could it possibly be that I am working? Why can't I reach you in the evening sometime? Well, because I'm asleep. Because I'm asleep. Or maybe I'm just taking some time for myself. I'm not, you know, no, I don't, I get really cagey.

George B. Thomas (32:31.604)
You

Liz Moorehead (32:55.334)
I'm much cageier now than I used to be about always being available to me as a recovering, deeply pathological people pleaser. I've had to. I've had to put those boundaries up and it has been interesting to observe how people react to it. I had a situation recently where I set a boundary with someone and it wasn't personal.

George B. Thomas (33:01.748)
You

Liz Moorehead (33:24.774)
something was happening in my personal life. I knew I was not able to be present and I said, hey, I need to like just take a couple weeks to take care of some things. It has nothing to do with you. Everything to do with me. And just this is just what I need right now. Because I'm someone who's a I'm a fairly private processor. I tend to go through things privately.

George B. Thomas (33:31.028)
You

Liz Moorehead (33:51.75)
I will engage other people when I'm ready to ask for help, but I'm a fairly private person as much as my public persona may not show. I think you know that about me, George. I'm really private about a lot of things. I don't like a lot of people. I don't like having a live studio audience for my life.

George B. Thomas (34:00.276)
Yeah.

George B. Thomas (34:10.74)
Mmm.

Liz Moorehead (34:12.902)
And that person got really upset, did not tell me, built up a whole story in their head about it and said, well, I wanted you to rely on me as a friend. And I said, well, I did. This is not about you. This was what I needed at the time. And I explained to her what happened. And I said, this was actually about somebody else. This was somebody else's business. This is not that.

And what I found that's been interesting as I've started setting these boundaries for myself is that I used to deeply personalize when someone would react negatively to a new boundary. And we talked about this during the boundaries episode, but oftentimes it will illuminate things about the other person when they are budding up against your boundary. This person is a wonderful person. They have been there through.

with me through a lot, but there was a moment there where I'm like, wait, did I do something wrong? And I realized, no, I just set a boundary for myself. I'm not beholden to anybody. I went out of my way to say, hey, for the next couple of weeks, I'm just going to be doing me because there is another area of my personal life that requires focused attention. Someone in my life needs my help. And it was scary. That was a little bit of a tangent, but that practice.

George B. Thomas (35:35.86)
Yeah.

Liz Moorehead (35:39.716)
I put in place just to be able to be present in my life has had interesting outcomes as a result. I know we're going to be talking more about ways people can easily embrace presence in their daily lives. I have some practices that I'll share during that part of the conversation. But I would say the other thing that I do is I'm an active Headspace user. I have Headspace and I have Calm.

George B. Thomas (35:55.38)
Hmm hmm there you go

Liz Moorehead (36:07.843)
This girl is this girl is stressed and she has a meditation app for every possible scenario. Plus those sleep stories. Those sleep stories are so good. I'm like, I'm eight years old. Yes. Tell me more about all of the little snow leopards in the mountains. Like, I love that. I love that. That makes me so happy. Anyway, the conversation around being present is a popular one for a reason. It's hard. A lot of us want it and aren't doing it well.

George B. Thomas (36:15.732)
Mmm. Night night.

George B. Thomas (36:25.236)
Yeah.

Liz Moorehead (36:37.667)
But why do you think that is? Why? Because I don't know if you've observed this. People are talking about this more and more and more and more.

George B. Thomas (36:43.156)
Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's like it's like an emotional pandemic. But before I dive into this, by the way, because Liz, you're spot on. You like that? You're spot on with this question, by the way. But before I answer it, if you're new to the podcast, Liz mentioned the boundaries episode. It's episode 25, ladies and gentlemen, setting healthy boundaries that fortify your path.

Liz Moorehead (36:53.539)
Way to slide that in there.

George B. Thomas (37:12.468)
foster growth and create peace. All right, so with that out of the way, again, Liz, I love this question. This was one of the ones where I'm like, yeah, okay, great, great, great, great, great, let's go. So being present is a hot topic because let's face it, staying in the moment is tough. I wanna say for a lot of us, how about I just say for all of us? Like it is a human.

Liz Moorehead (37:36.225)
Yes.

George B. Thomas (37:39.508)
emotional pandemic that we all face because we're again at the very beginning I said we're living most of our life in the past or the future and not enough of it right now like the Van Halen song says. Anyway, I think there are a few key reasons. You, me, the listeners find this week's topic challenging. First, our minds are natural storytellers and natural problem solvers.

They're always on the go thinking about what's next, reflecting on what's past or kind of creating these scenarios that may never, ever, ever, ever freaking happen. Anybody else? Just me, maybe? There's so many like, is it just me moments in this podcast? But it's like our brains have this constant back.

Liz Moorehead (38:26.72)
No. No.

George B. Thomas (38:33.588)
making it hard to tune into the here and the now, making it hard to tune into the present freaking moment because of that background noise in our brain. Then there's our modern lifestyle. And I did mention this earlier, you talked about it too, but Liz listeners, would you agree? Does this sound right to you? Your life is fast paced with technology at your fingertips, making it super easy to get distracted.

Have you ever noticed that checking one notification can lead you down a rabbit hole of apps and websites and you come out of the rabbit hole hours later? Before you know it, you're lost in cyberspace instead of being present in your own life. By the way, I don't think this one is only me, Liz. I think this is a global, like...

Liz Moorehead (39:21.024)
Oh, at 100 % is give me one hour and I am an expert on capybara feeding two canned snuggles. Did you know that when they're happy when you rub their bill they honk? I learned that last night.

George B. Thomas (39:32.116)
Oh, I did. Now I do. Now I do. See, see, that's the thing. And if you're like already Googling this as you're listening to this, you're missing the point of this podcast, by the way. But this this is a global present moment killer. And it also ties into another part of this conversation that as we we cannot have this conversation and forget to mention the pressure.

and expectations society puts on us. We often are measured by how much we do, not by how we experience or enjoy what we're actually doing. So we end up rushing. Do you feel rushed through life, by the way? We end up rushing through life. We end up ticking boxes off our to -do lists without really experiencing the moment other than the actual tick of the box.

If you're living a life where your goal is to check a box, you are living in the default, not in the beyond your default. And listen, another thing that has rung true for me is that sometimes being present can be just plain old uncomfortable. It means facing our feelings and those things are scary. Our thoughts head on without distractions, without being able to escape into our phones, Netflix accounts or other

Advices we might use to escape. I feel like we might have talked about that conversation in a historical podcast episode as well. That can be tough, especially if we're dealing with stress, anxiety, or other heavy emotions. But here's the good news. With some practice and intention, we humans can improve our level of being present. Being present in life is like building a muscle. The more we do it, the stronger.

it gets. And the benefits? Well, ladies and gentlemen, they're freaking huge. Better focus, deeper connections with others, more joy, a greater appreciation for the little things in life. If you're a longtime listener, you know that we've talked about that too. Again, what I'm trying to paint a picture here by mentioning all the episodes and the times where you might have heard these things is being present is a key element of living a life beyond your

George B. Thomas (41:51.668)
default. So while it's common to struggle with staying present, it's definitely a skill worth developing. And the best part, the more we practice, the more we can enjoy the richness and fullness of life, one present moment at a time.

Liz Moorehead (42:10.079)
Wow, way to end a steady stream attack against me personally in such a beautiful baritone. Such a beautiful baritone. I'm sure you saw me while you were recording. I'm like, yep, that's me. Yep. Damn it, George. Yeah, I get it. All right. Fine. Fine. You know what? I thought this question was going to be the nice one, but apparently that was the tough one for me. You know what I love though? I loved you talking about the checking the box piece.

George B. Thomas (42:31.476)
Yeah.

George B. Thomas (42:38.388)
Mmm.

Liz Moorehead (42:38.751)
and how that is just living squarely in your default because it reminds me of the episode we did about why these small things matter and how to reprioritize them in your life because what can happen and we talk about this in detail in that episode is that one of the most insidious consequences of not being present in your own life. Let's set aside things like stress, trauma, that kind of stuff. You can end up living your whole life

George B. Thomas (42:46.548)
Yeah.

Liz Moorehead (43:08.926)
waiting for something. And there were times last year where I had to ground to myself and I had to remind myself of, I understand every aspect of your life is on fire, but you better find some joy in this because this is your life right now. You are living life.

George B. Thomas (43:10.196)
Yes.

Liz Moorehead (43:27.485)
right now and you can snap your fingers and an entire year will be gone. And a year in the grand scheme of things may not seem like much, but to the end of your life, if you were to go back, or if you were able to go to yourself at the end of your life and give yourself an extra year. That's the thing about being present that is such a critical conversation because it's like a bank account. It's like a compound interest thing. It's like death.

George B. Thomas (43:41.396)
Yeah. Yeah.

George B. Thomas (43:55.508)
Preach, preach.

Liz Moorehead (43:56.381)
depending on what depends on how you swing, right? It could be death by paper cut. Oh, me not going on this one walk this one time won't make a big deal. And by the way, I'm using that as an example not to attack you guess who didn't go? Who has two thumbs speaks limited French and also did not go on her walk yesterday. And you know that that used to be like that was like going to church for me for like seven months and I have slipped as I've been reestablishing my new norms. So I've been I'm there with you too. But I'm right there with you too.

George B. Thomas (44:07.604)
I feel like I just got punched in my jugular.

George B. Thomas (44:17.524)
Yeah.

George B. Thomas (44:21.172)
Hmm.

Liz Moorehead (44:27.613)
but it's a death by paper cut. Oh, it's not a big deal. Oh, it's not a big deal. Oh, it's not a big deal. And then all of a sudden, warning, warning, warning, your emotional bank account is completely and wildly overdrawn and you have hundreds of dollars of fees that the bank will likely not reimburse you for because they're not nice people. But it swings the other direction. There is the compound interest effective when you cultivate presence in your own life.

George B. Thomas (44:32.98)
Until it's a big deal.

George B. Thomas (44:47.348)
Yeah.

Liz Moorehead (44:57.341)
you think about it differently, you see things differently, you operate differently. Like, I sometimes feel completely...

It is crippling when I get into those spirals. It is crippling. And I sometimes want to cry and sometimes I do cry because intellectually I understand what I'm doing and emotionally I'll feel trapped. Intellectually I understand I'm robbing myself of the joy. I'm not being grateful for the incredible life that I have because one thing has somehow managed to derail me.

And I'm working on that, right? Like I'm baby stepping, I'm doing the work for my What About Bob fans out there. But like that, it's painful. It hurts. Now, I want to take us in a more positive direction here. We've touched upon the importance of being present, countless episodes. We've been referring to them throughout this conversation. But I want you to take a moment, George, and outline for us,

specifically, being present on its own, just the sake of being present. What are the benefits that come out of that? What are the ways in which we see living a life beyond your default become much more realized because you're prioritizing that mindful present way of looking at life?

George B. Thomas (46:25.396)
Yes, again, love this question. Love it, love it, love it, love it. Let's break this down into simple real talk. Also, these are going to call back to some of what we've maybe already chatted about or people have actually heard because, again, there's a fine line, you know, a double edged sword or two sides of a coin or whatever you want to kind of put here around this topic in like.

the lack and therefore benefit of it and they kind of ring the same a little bit. Benefit number one that I want to talk about is making real connections. Real being the key word there. We all know how frustrating it can be when someone you're talking to seems more interested in their phone than what you are saying. It's like you're there, but you're not really there. Now flip that scenario. Imagine you're the one giving someone your undivided attention. You're not glancing at your phone, not thinking about your next meeting, your next meal, you're just fully.

focused on the person in front of you. It is powerful. It is a benefit. When you're truly present with someone, you're not just hearing their words, you're tuning into their tone, their body language, the subtle things that they're not saying to you. You're literally really communicating, not just talking. It's about creating a space where the other person feels seen, heard, and most importantly,

Understood. And ladies and gentlemen, that's a rare and precious gift in our always on distracted world. It is a benefit. This kind of deep, attentive listening can transform your relationships. It builds trust, fosters empathy, and strengthens connections. It's like relationship gold. Humans tend to open up more, share more, and connect on a deeper level when they feel you're genuinely engaged with them.

And here's the kicker, this kind of connection not only enriches your relationships, but also enriches you. It cultivates a sense of empathy and understanding, broadens your perspective and deepens your own emotional intelligence. You start to notice more, learn more about people and by extension, about human nature and boom, punchline, freaking yourself. You start to learn about yourself. Benefit number two, stay in cool.

George B. Thomas (48:38.068)
and collected. Listen, life can feel like a roller coaster of emotions, excitement, stress, joy, frustration. They all take turns capturing your cranium. But here's where being present and mindful becomes your superpower, your secret tool in navigating these roller coaster moments of life with a bit more ease. For most of us, it's not hard to think of our minds like a busy highway, or maybe it's just me again. I don't know.

But I doubt it. Thoughts and emotions are cars zooming by at breakneck speeds and you are strapped on the hood of one of those cars in the middle of this chaos. If you have a visual representation of that brain, then you have been there, done that scene that probably have the fricking t -shirt. Now being mindful and present is like sitting on a hill overlooking this highway. You see everything moving, but you're not on the road getting tossed around.

You observe the traffic, the rush of your thoughts and emotions, but you don't get caught up in it. This perspective shift is powerful. Yes, it's a benefit. When you present, when you're present, you're in the driver's seat of your emotions, not the other way around. You recognize your feelings, acknowledge them without judgment, and then you can make a choice.

You can decide not to chase after every thought or react to every emotion. Instead, you can respond from a place of calm and clarity. By the way, this doesn't mean that you become emotionless or indifferent. Far from it, you still feel everything fully, but you're not overwhelmed or controlled by your feelings. You learn to recognize that just like a storm, emotions pass. You discover a space within you that's calm, no matter the chaos around you.

Benefit number three. How about we all get a little bit more focused? Or how about we get super focused? In a world brimming with notifications, multitasking and constant interruptions, being able to hone in on one task is indeed a superpower, a benefit. It's like having a mental laser beam that cuts through the noise, allowing you to concentrate fully on the task at hand.

George B. Thomas (50:54.42)
Imagine you're working on a project and around you there's a whirlwind of activities, phones ringing, people chatting, emails pinging, ding ding ding ding ding ding. By the way, if you're working remote at a coffee shop or are a normal human being, you might not have to imagine too hard. Anyway, being present allows you to anchor yourself in the midst of this storm, maintaining a serene focus on your work. It's not that you're unaware of the chaos, rather the chaos...

or you choose not to let the chaos dominate your attitude. When you're fully present and focused, the quality of your work skyrockets. You're not just ticking boxes. You're engaging deeply with what you're doing, whether you're writing a report, crafting a piece of art, coding, or even having a conversation with another human. Your full engagement elevates the outcome.

And let's not forget about the personal satisfaction that comes with this level of focus. Completing a task with your full attention is immensely rewarding. It gives you a sense of accomplishment and mastery that is hard to beat. Benefit number four, growing as a human. When we talk about being present as a pathway to personal growth, we're really diving into the essence of self -awareness, which by the way is a major...

milestone, important thing, focus on it for your journey. Anyway, benefit, it's like turning the lights on in a room that's been dim for way too long, revealing all the details you couldn't see before. Being present allows you to notice your reactions, thoughts, and feelings as they happen. It's like being an observer of your own life, maybe a little bit of an out of body experience.

As you become more aware of these inner life workings, you gain the power to change them. You're no longer just reacting to life on autopilot. Instead, you can choose how to respond to your feelings and situations. You start to understand the why behind your actions, which is the first step in creating meaningful change. And remember, personal growth isn't a selfish endeavor.

George B. Thomas (53:07.636)
As you grow, you bring more to your relationships, your work, and the world around you. You become more resilient, empathetic, and engaged. Your growth contributes to a ripple effect that touches the lives of others in ways that you might not even realize. So even when your life is cranked up to the max, taking a moment to be present can change the game. It turns everyday moments into something special and helps you live life in what might be

A dad joke coming. In Living Color?

Liz Moorehead (53:39.069)
In Living Color, you can do what you want. That's for us, that's for us elder millennial and Gen Xers. That's okay. You know what, you get a pass on that one. Because In Living Color was amazing. But I have to be careful. I have to stay present. I can't suddenly transform this into an In Living Color podcast. You know, one of my favorite quotes that I came across.

George B. Thomas (53:45.3)
That's for old folks, yeah.

George B. Thomas (53:51.06)
Good.

It was good. I loved it.

George B. Thomas (53:58.132)
Right. Right.

Liz Moorehead (54:05.597)
Not during research for this episode. It was actually one that a therapist told me to help me ground myself. Because I can think myself into a ditch if I'm not careful. Life gives you plenty of time to do whatever you want if you stay present in the moment. And I remember just hearing that. And it's kind of like one of those. It was like a little bomb with a delay. So like, oh, that totally makes sense.

George B. Thomas (54:17.172)
Mmm.

Liz Moorehead (54:33.469)
And then I'm like, OK, so I listened to listen to her say it, thought about it, wrote it down. OK, woke up in the middle of the night. And what? Oh, my God.

What would be different about my life right now if I took all of the hours I had been obsessing about this one specific situation in my life over the past three months and had been pointing those thoughts in a more productive direction? What could I have accomplished? What would be different? How much further ahead would I be? Now, you always have to be careful about this, right? Because we don't want this to all of a sudden turn into a thing where it's like, well, I am a bad person and I'm not capable of doing anything right now.

George B. Thomas (55:03.284)
You

Liz Moorehead (55:17.021)
But it's a good clarifying moment to think about, like, what is something in your life right now that you know is taking a disproportionate, outsized amount of focus from you right now? Something that maybe isn't changing. Maybe it's a person who isn't reacting the way you want them to be reacting. Maybe it is something that is fundamentally and irrevocably out of your control. It is a bell that cannot be unrung.

George B. Thomas (55:33.428)
Oof.

Liz Moorehead (55:42.205)
How many hours would you say over the past two to three weeks you have devoted to either spiraling, thinking, replaying, all of those different things in your head? Now what if somebody said, hey, Liz, here are the 48, 72 hours back in your life. Here you go, just free time, free time.

George B. Thomas (56:04.084)
Mm.

Liz Moorehead (56:06.269)
It's, it, hoo, hoo, hoo. The other thing too that was funny about the coffee shop, I had a funny experience earlier this week. There's a coffee shop I love to go to locally. And I go there because I like, it helps me write, like the white noise, being in a small space. I have a very specific table that I sit at. And one of the guys who works there was like, man, you're so serious about your work today. And I thought it was funny. I'm like, sorry, that is because I am working. That is what I'm here to do.

George B. Thomas (56:06.516)
Dang.

George B. Thomas (56:24.18)
Right?

Liz Moorehead (56:36.157)
Although I do love the conversation and the coffee, but at some point, Liz has got to go under here. Words got to get written.

George B. Thomas (56:42.645)
Yeah, headphones are beautiful.

Liz Moorehead (56:44.637)
Oh my God, I love them so much. So what are ways in which folks can easily start to embrace a present moment mindset in their daily lives? And I want to be very clear about why I'm saying easily. I am not implying that being present is easy. Just do it. Just be happy. My point is that I think we struggle to do this in a way that is accessible, that is easy to bring into our lives. That's what I mean by easily.

George B. Thomas (57:10.452)
Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, because, yeah, no, I get it. I get it. Let's actually let's break this down into two different categories of like recommendations so that people who do have their pen, pencil, notepad, iPad out, they can kind of break this down. So there we go. First, let's talk about daily or weekly practices we can add to our lives. And then in the moment, we'll talk about like in the moment case of emergency tactics that.

Liz Moorehead (57:28.541)
I do.

Liz Moorehead (57:41.309)
oooo

George B. Thomas (57:41.588)
we might be able to pull. So it's kind of like, here's my repetition thing to keep me like levelized and like warning danger. What is that danger? Will Robinson, danger, danger, right? Those moments in life. So daily and weekly morning mindfulness. Begin your day with a moment of presence before you jump out of bed, take a few deep breaths and set an intention for the day. It could be something like today. I choose to be present and find joy in the small moments.

Liz Moorehead (57:52.029)
Will Robinson, danger! Yep.

George B. Thomas (58:10.388)
of life. By the way, that's the second time we've talked about small moments. And so, ladies and gentlemen, if you were curious, that was episode 31, why the small things in life matter, how to re -prioritize them. Anyway, the whole point there, by the way, if you're writing it, morning mindfulness and what that looks like for you and what app you use or don't use is totally up to you. The other one is in your day, breathing breaks. I know for you, some of you, it's like, oh, that's woo woo. It sounds...

Anyway, breathing breaks throughout your day, take short breaks to focus solely on your breath. A minute or two of deep conscious breathing can center your mind and bring you back to the present. Number three, mindful listening. Listen, I'm going to preach this one from the mountaintops till I see a million people flipping their phone over at dinner tables. Mindful listening when conversing or having conversations with others. Really? Listen.

Really listen. Focus on their words, tone and expressions without planning your next response in your head. Listen to listen, not listen to actually react. This is not only enhances, this not only enhances your relationships, but also deepens your engagement with the present. Those three things and then add this in weekly reflection. Once a week, take some time to reflect on your experiences. Consider when you felt most present and when your mind wandered or

just flat out raced away and took you to something that you never expected. Understanding your patterns can help you create more mindful moments and reprogram the patterns that might be happening in your weekly daily life. In case of emergencies, this was fun by the way. Like I found some things in this research moment where I like, ooh, I'm gonna do that right there.

So one that you can use in case of emergencies, the 5 -4 -3 -2 -1 grounding technique. When you're feeling overwhelmed, engage your senses with this method. Identify five things you can see, four things you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste. This technique is a quick and effective way to center yourself in the present. Also, mantra repetition. Choose a word or a phrase that's calming for you and silently repeat it to yourself.

George B. Thomas (01:00:39.252)
Silently repeat it to yourself, especially if you're in public. Silently repeat it to yourself. Anyway, it could be as simple as this too shall pass or I am here. This repetition can act as an anchor, bringing your mind back to the present and away from distressing or distracting thoughts. Mindful observation. Pick an object around you. This one is super simple, by the way. I would use the easier or easy thing on this.

Pick a object around you, any object, and focus all your attention on it. Notice its color, shape, texture, and any other characteristics that it may have. Observing something in such detail can interrupt the spiral of thoughts that you're having and ground you in that present moment. So just focusing on something. Liz, I'm super curious because I touched on apps and a couple of things here, but what are your thoughts to this question?

Liz Moorehead (01:01:36.412)
I love some of the ones that you mentioned and I don't know if you noticed me nodding along, particularly when you talked about the five, four, three, two, one, one. That is one that has been absolutely essential for me. That is one that has really helped me. Now you've talked a lot about some of the, I'm not saying more basic, but some of the more, I think, broad.

general ideas and I want to focus on a couple of things that have really helped me coming from the if stress and anxiety is like a little monster gobbling up as much as possible in your life. I'll be perfectly honest. I'm a big believer in talk therapy. I have a therapist but there were times where I'm like I intellectually understand and we have spent weeks, months, years with me saying I understand why something is the way it is. I understand the root cause of something but it

George B. Thomas (01:02:12.372)
You

Liz Moorehead (01:02:30.813)
wasn't manifesting actual change. In the moment when a traumatic trigger would occur, I would just fall right back down the hole. And I am someone, as you know, who it's like, is there a project plan? Is there a Gantt chart? Are there KPIs and milestones? I need to have something to do. So a friend of mine introduced me to two techniques that have been.

George B. Thomas (01:02:42.548)
You

Liz Moorehead (01:02:56.38)
really helpful and this will fall under the break glass in case of emergency category. I like how you called it. One is called butterfly tapping. It's very simple. You take one hand and you put it on your upper arm so you cross and then you do the same thing with the other. So kind of like if you were laying in bed and you have your arm folded on top of each other and then you just tap when you're feeling anxious. And I'm like, are you serious right now? Are you? You want?

George B. Thomas (01:03:11.796)
Yeah.

Liz Moorehead (01:03:26.395)
You want me to, it's called a butterfly, a butterfly hug technique. So I'm sitting here like, are you for real right now? But the science behind it is very interesting because what it does is it actually activates our parasympathetic nervous system, which helps lower your heart rate. It engages both sides of your brain.

the logic centers that often get turned off when you're going through something anxious. So when you start freaking out, the parts of you that know how to do math no longer know how to do math. And it's one of these little things that just 20 seconds of this and just focusing on your breath can just help bring you out of it into the present moment. Now, this next one, I've got to be honest. When I first heard the name for this, I had to even be, are you effing for real?

George B. Thomas (01:03:56.692)
Hmm hmm

Liz Moorehead (01:04:20.378)
right now because I this was me on the hunt of I'm not giving up talk therapy there are values in it but I need things practical things for me to do when I can't get myself out of these moments. It's called EFT tapping and essentially the idea is it's tapping it's tapping along certain it's actually acupuncture pressure points and you do it in a certain order they use this and they use butterfly tapping and EFT tapping in prison systems to help

George B. Thomas (01:04:36.564)
Oh yes, yes.

George B. Thomas (01:04:41.876)
Yup.

Liz Moorehead (01:04:50.297)
prisoners and that I actually was watching this incredible video last night where other prisoners it has helped them work through deep trauma in their own lives and they're helping each other. It is wild but it's called the emotional freedom technique and when I first I was get the fuck out of here. What are you talking about? Yeah absolutely no no and she's like just ignore the acronym and do the flippin work.

George B. Thomas (01:05:07.508)
Beep!

George B. Thomas (01:05:16.084)
Yeah.

Liz Moorehead (01:05:16.378)
So butterfly tapping is something I use for break glass in case of emergency. EFT tapping, you can actually do, there are recordings that you can watch online that are programmed around specific topics. So I try to do one of those once a week and it does help reprogram how I think about certain things because the whole idea is that you are meant to bring a thought into your head on purpose of something that causes you stress or concerns you.

and then you reprogram how you think about it when it comes up. And I'll admit, the first few times I did it, I'm like, I don't know about this stuff, but I stuck with it and it really has made an actual difference.

George B. Thomas (01:05:47.956)
Yeah.

George B. Thomas (01:05:55.7)
Listeners, I would challenge you to try this. I would say research the tapping and try it. Listen, Liz, the first time I ran into this, I was very much like you where I'm like, what in all of God's green earth is happening right now? But yeah, but this was at the so I've mentioned that I'm part of this evolved leadership, you know, every second Tuesday or every

Liz Moorehead (01:06:14.073)
Emotional freedom technique, really, this is what we're going with.

George B. Thomas (01:06:25.588)
other Tuesday we meet and we actually had a special guest came in and did that with the group. And at first I was uncomfortable and uneasy and I didn't think by the time we actually got into it and did it, I was like, oh snap. So like as as weird as your mind by re racing right now, listeners research it, give it a try and and don't judge it by the name or what you think.

you'll look like or what it sounds like. I challenge you try it and then let us know.

Liz Moorehead (01:07:01.593)
Oh yeah, absolutely. I mean, let's be perfectly honest guys, if being normal and doing all the cool things to manage stress and anxiety worked, we wouldn't be here right now. So let's just be honest about that. The other thing I'll point out for break the glass in case of emergency, there has been a lot of debate about which is better, calm versus headspace. I have both because I am privileged enough to have a paid subscription to both, but that's because I use calm for soundscapes and things like that when I'm trying to focus. But headspace.

George B. Thomas (01:07:10.516)
Thanks.

Liz Moorehead (01:07:31.609)
has two things going for it that I, if somebody asks me for what my recommendation is, I'm trying to cultivate mindfulness and presence in my life, which one should I pick? I will pick Headspace hands down every single time for two reasons. Number one, Headspace not only has meditations, it has courses that teach you in very incremental, easy ways that take five minutes or less. Okay, this is what it means when we say focus on the breath.

George B. Thomas (01:07:49.812)
Yeah.

Liz Moorehead (01:07:58.905)
Don't worry about it. I also find the people who do the narration a lot more calming. Andy, who was a former monk, one of the founders of Headspace, just he, I could listen to him talk all day long. But they have that. They also have tons of meditations that are around specific topics. And then they fall into two groups. So it could be as simple as cultivating focus when you have to work from home to SOS work emergency.

So they have two types of meditations, ones that are around topics and ones are you are in a state of anxiety or panic, play this, it will help you. And my God, if those haven't been absolutely astronomical. And then also the sleep stories, which I've already mentioned, but we don't need to go down that path again. George, I have a bonus question for you that was not in the rundown for today.

George B. Thomas (01:08:42.42)
Hmm.

George B. Thomas (01:08:55.156)
Okay.

Liz Moorehead (01:08:58.423)
You ready?

This is not trying to catch you off guard. This is a question that I've been thinking about in terms of something I wanted to ask you. Because one of my favorite things about this podcast is I get to hang out with my friend and do this. But you're also a bit of a mentor to me. You're someone who I learn from a lot. How do you tell the difference between moments where you are being a purposeful planner and thinking future?

and moments where you should be present.

George B. Thomas (01:09:33.172)
Yeah, so it's interesting because I think if I'm gonna go into being a purposeful planner, I will have planned a time to be thinking of that plan. Meaning it's something that I've scheduled in my day to, okay, this is where I'm going to...

Liz Moorehead (01:09:34.295)
Because we've talked a lot about being present, but we have very busy lives, busy lives that require forethought and planning. So where do you draw that line?

George B. Thomas (01:10:00.884)
intentionally think about the future and strategize on the plans that I want to implement moving forward. That's that. In the present is exactly what we've been talking about. It's in the present. You can't plan to be in the present. You can only be. And so for me, I would say, and by the way, if you look at my calendar, we literally have times that we schedule to talk strategy, to talk planning.

Now, can my mind wander into some of that and it not be scheduled? Yes. How I choose to either push it back and remind myself that there is a time scheduled for it or to then schedule a time for it and try to get back into the presence, that's an in the moment battle that sometimes happens.

Liz Moorehead (01:10:52.505)
love that. Thank you. All right. I'm ready to take us home butter you.

George B. Thomas (01:10:54.132)
Yes.

Yo, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Liz Moorehead (01:11:00.088)
What becomes possible in life when we prioritize a present moment mindset? What does that look like?

George B. Thomas (01:11:06.836)
Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Episode nine, the importance of relationships for your journey through life. Let's just start there. Deeper relationships. Imagine the depth of connection you can achieve when you're truly present with others. You listen better, respond more thoughtfully, and share more genuinely. These rich interactions foster stronger and more meaningful relationships, enhancing your life and the lives of those around you.

20, Fact vs. Fiction. What is a growth mindset, really? Personal growth and self -discovery, embracing the present is a journey of self -discovery. You become more attuned to your thoughts, feelings, and reactions, uncovering insights about who you are and who you aspire to be. This self -awareness is the cornerstone of personal growth, guiding you to live a life that's not just default, but deliberately designed.

Episode 32, the freedom plus power of letting go. A life lived fully. Ultimately prioritizing a present moment mindset allows you to live fully, not just exist. You're engaged, aware, and participating in the dance of life, not watching from the sidelines. Every moment becomes an opportunity to learn, grow, connect, create, and just be.

Embracing the present moment is not just a practice, it's a pathway to a life brimming with possibility, depth and fulfillment. It's about breaking free from your default settings that you have and stepping into the amazing journey that is a life beyond your default.